Sometimes I feel like I have been talking about when I am going to stop breastfeeding before I even got started. I don’t think that attitude is very good or healthy for anyone. So why fight something so natural that actually is biochemically designed to be pleasurable? Why would I want to stop hormones such as oxytocin and prolactin that are supped to keep me mellow and feel more nurturing towards my baby? Why wouldn’t I want to carry on breastfeeding if it is meant to help me lose my baby fat? Yes, this website is all about the mother, I am not even touching on the benefits for sweet baby. (Symbol for breastfeeding was designed by Matt Daigle, Mothering magazine contest winner 2006).

I think it was a friend of mine who said to me, “I want my body back.” I can relate to that. I just never really feel myself while I am breastfeeding. My boobs are bigger (that actually is also a good thing because once that milk stops, things are going to look pretty sad round there), I can’t stay away from the baby for too long (yes I know that is absolutely fine but I am just speaking from a purely objective non-lactating, I-want-to-be-free, point of view), sometimes feeding in public is a pain, I can’t really get drunk, my bras are ragged hideous grey things (I can buy more but I keep telling myself that I am going to stop in a couple of weeks), I can’t stop drinking water, and sometimes it gets a bit confusing having my breasts touched by my darling husband. You know what I mean…..

All the same, thanks to a much more relaxed work schedule, considerably better health, and perhaps the nature of this chilled out baby, breastfeeding has really not be a problem. But I keep thinking, “am I going to keep breastfeeding until she is a year old?” Won’t it be even harder for us at that age to separate from each other?

I read this fascinating article by this raw food chick who decided to let her children wean themselves when they were ready. Apparently both girls decided to stop breastfeeding (or as she calls it “Full Term Breastfeed”) around the same age. One stopped around 7 and the other when she was nearly 8. The story becomes even more amazing because when the first child was around 15 months, she became pregnant with her second daughter and continued to breastfeed her, even during labor and then again after the birth in a practice known as tandem nursing. Here is the whole story, it really is worth a read and is actually quite inspirational.

For the rest of us who aren’t quite ready to go to term with our breastfeeding, I thought it might be interesting to hear what the Family Sears have to say about weaning. “We have a sign in our office, ‘Early weaning not recommended for babies,’ if you view parenting as a long-term investment, why sell your options short? Timely weaning occurs when the sucking need dissipates - some time between nine months and three and a half years. Medically speaking, nutritionists and physicians advise breastfeeding at least until your child’s first birthday, and there is nothing sacred about one year. Many babies given the opportunity, choose to breastfeed much longer….. Weaning is a personal decision. Basically, when one or both members of the mother-infant pair are ready, it’s time to wean.”

That being said, mothers who don’t make it to a year should not feel like they have failed. With my last pregnancy, I got sick with hypothyroidism and started to feel dreadful. I remember by the time my mother came to visit me 8.5 months in, I was begging her to help me get my darling daughter of my breast. She was feeding off me all night and I was exhausted. There was no doubt in my mind that it was time to stop.

But for many mothers, they feel pressure to stop perhaps before they are really ready, and that is a shame. I remember a conversation with a friend of mine whose heavy work schedule eventually meant her milk dried up and she wasn’t ready to stop…. she felt she had cheated both herself and her child of something important. One of my concerns is that my child will be overly dependent on me. But the Sears write, “This statememt shows a lack of appreciation of a toddler as a little person with big needs. Both experience and research have shown that extended breastfeeding does not foster dependency.”

So here I am at five and a half months, my daughter’s first little tooth is just starting to show through and we are just starting the fun introduction to solids. I thought I would be starting to wean by now, but so far I haven’t. It seems the fact that I have changed my lifestyle has provided me the luxury to continue breastfeeding, but there are women in all sorts of careers who go out of their way to breastfeed.

This really shouldn’t be such a strange thing…isn’t it part of our feminine code? As I slowly drift towards a more natural state of motherhood, it actually feels OK.

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July 17th, 2007 | Permalink