I’ve been itching to write a new post but honestly, there hasn’t been any time. As soon as one goes to sleep, the other one seems to wake up. I am nearly three weeks into motherhood x 2 and I am still in my nasty (yes they are really starting to bother me) grey sweatpants and my husband’s t-shirts. He has been pretty cool about my using his tops, but for me, this is all just one big slippery slope. I don’t want to be in his t-shirts.

My mother bought me a nice sweater recently, something to cheer me up on on one of those fog-like days when you can’t remember how many times you fed the baby in the middle of the night. It’s lovely, and it kind of fits me, but there is definitely work to be done. Now I have read in every book that there really isn’t any rush to lose weight, or try to get back into your “other” I’ve-got-a-life clothes, but today I am starting to wonder. I even found myself trying a few kegel exercises but didn’t feel terribly motivated.

I seem to remember kicking myself into action about a month after the last baby was born. Then hours of breastfeeding, hours of walking, and yoga got me back to my pre-figure weight. I am hoping, the same will happen this time. I am wondering if other people feel they have less patience somehow for number two? You just don’t seem to have the time to indulge in mammoth couch breastfeeding sessions, and, I don’t even want to feel as consumed as I was the first time.

Is it wrong of me to want my life back? Am I short changing my daughter if I breastfeed for less time (BTW can anyone recommend a good nursing bra). I feel guilty about having these feelings. Surely I shouldn’t be denying my newborn the same kind of adoring attention that the first one got? I remember my mother telling me that I had better enjoy this period because it would never come back and that they grow up so fast. I know she is right… so why am I feeling so impatient? It all just feels like a lot of work right now.

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February 18th, 2007 | Permalink